Even after all this time,

the world doesn't matter

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Nobody reads this anymore. Not me, not my friends. By friends I mean people who still give a shit about LJ. People who still give a shit about LJ that I actually know in real life.

I'm a mother now.

And no matter how many people, and how many times, tell me I'm "doing a good job" at this motherhood thing, I still feel.......wrong.

I feel like I'm disconnected.

I love my daughter to the point that looking at her makes me cry. She is perfect, she is pure, she is literally the future.

But.....I'm not always there. Physically, I'm always there. Mentally, I'm having a hard. fucking. time.

How could anyone ever deny that tiny face anything?


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